more belly and stress

talked to kat, heheh she didnt give me a speech, but i guess she knows she didnt have to, she knows i wanna just numb myself, im 16 years off the stuff, beleive me im very far from using again, but im thinkin ok,

first....stress, alergies and belly

when i take my muscle relaxer it puts everyhthing to sleep, i eat with it and my belly goes night night, even my alergies if they bother me subside and stress takes a break, i cant keep anything in my belly for long in daily life cause im way to stressed, stress and anxiety are ripping a hole in me, i cant just go to the doc, the will mess with my meds and as in the past ill be 100 times worse, i can real bad side effects from just about everything,

thats why i thought bout pot, just to numb me, to shut me off wells part of me, i feel its a drug just like anything else i take, im addicted to my meds as well, just legally, im still not gonna run out and do it, i do to many stupid impulse things, so im not saying im gonna do it or not, and if i did wells i dont know if it woud make things that much better, one thing that did concern me was i know how i react on it, your numb always, brain dont work as well, ok fine, but i worried biut driving, i just wouldnt want side effects cajuse my brain to react slower in an emergency, with my meds and muscle relaxer i havent had a problem, thAT would worry me bout pot

so how can i mellow myself like my muslce relaxers do? that is the question, ok yea im trying meditation again, it just takes forever grrrr

I think you did a good job as you said in the other thread. I'm glad Kat talked to you. I was hoping she'd pop in and see your thread but I'm glad you told her. love

she has been reAL Busy, but we talked this morning, sometimes you just wanna numb yourself and not feel, my meds can do that to a point, i still dont see pot as the end of the world if i partied again,but one thing i know wil be slower is reaction time wen im not getting high, it would mess with my driving, so wells, once im on the road driving takes alot of stress away

Hey, buddy, hang in there. I know what you mean... there are times when I REAAAALLY want to get good and drunk... but then I remember the trainload of probs it causes me. My belly simply cannot tolerate any type of booze. It is like you say, the mood change, the "numb" is alluring -- but remember the reasons why you choose not to "go there".
Although I have a Dr.s "permission" in a "green state" it is nothing like "the old days" or whatever it is we imagine when we dream of escape. Hell, I went 18 years with no medical help -- even as badly as I was busted up, it was like everyone (including ME!) thought it would be back to normal in time. I had headaches so bad I had serious suicide thinking -- there was simply no escape from my new reality. The psychological toll alone was devastating, but to be brushed off by my doctors did a real tango on my outlook. So, when a friend suggested pot for pain/mental relief I actually laughed at him! But, it provided relief with (for me at least) very low side effects. Taking it now as I do, I scarcely even NOTICE any effect other than I need fewer pills and I can keep weight on.
Oh, I TRULY wish that this helpful plant had not been so needlessly demonized and were easily available -- legally to all who could benefit. But until then... keep going with what rings true with YOU and YOUR situation.
take care, bud
and kick the stress monkey the hell outa th' way!
john

John's given you some good advice friend. How's Kira? Is she still living with you? I worry because you're there alone. here 4U

Doc Mike wrote:: John's given you some good advice friend. How's Kira? Is she still living with you? I worry because you're there alone.

Me too, it seems the stess is worse for you when you are alone, like I am worse with out Jack love

with him there are hardly any more night terrors, anxiety attacks, nightmares, etc. and even my pain doesn't seem near as bad dunno

he is like my cure all big grin

Doc Mike wrote:: John's given you some good advice friend. How's Kira? Is she still living with you? I worry because you're there alone.

Me too, it seems the stess is worse for you when you are alone, like I am worse with out Jack love

with him there are hardly any more night terrors, anxiety attacks, nightmares, etc. and even my pain doesn't seem near as bad dunno

he is like my cure all big grin

I agree with Terri
I agree with Terri

she is not here hardly, i mean its ok cept for one i get down and need someone other than me, and my depression can scare even me, if i had my car running id be able to go more places, in a few weeks im sure ill be driving, as for kira she is here now and again, wat bothers me is ok, either be here and im use to it, or leave and im use to that, she hasnt been here in a couple of weeks more than a few hours but its ok, moving to ny with my mom has alot to do with not being alone, my last apt i lived behind my buddy dave, so i hung at his house almost everyday, so if i was stressing, i was able to escapoe it easier, once the car is mobile, ill be cool, my back is doing alot better since i went to work asnd was busy, and my belly is some better since i put myself on a bland diet and 1 glass of ice tea a day, i used to drink a gallon a day, i either drink hot tea or flavored water or just plain water, but today was much better

thanks for everyones help!!!

I hope you get to NY soon Ed or at least get your car fixed. I hate being alone but I have my parents I can always call here 4U

funny i do like to be alone, until i go thru a rough time

mustang302 wrote:: funny i do like to be alone, until i go thru a rough time

I did too, until Jack big grin

i actually dont think ill ever find someone.

mustang302 wrote:: i actually dont think ill ever find someone.

I didn't ever think I would love

mustang302 wrote:: i actually dont think ill ever find someone.

You will friend, she's out there waiting for you. I could add more but I'll pause for now big grin

i should go hang around phyco ward to find someone, i dont mean that in a bad way, girls that have it all together, or no iussues are just to dull and boring, i need more of a rush, anyone ever see sid and nancy, the girlfreind of sid viciuos iof the sex pistols, ahhh yes, thats what i seek hehehhehe, she was skitzo by the way hehehhe