today

BIG storm here... at least I slept last night for a bit... I tend to be a messy-mess-mess psycho-wise wid no sleep. I'd be out gettin 'er done today, as it is spring break... but the wind is just HOWLING and I'm layin' reaaal low and trying to not go into storm/migriane mode... sigh. Oh, how I wish for sunshine and warmth... and the end of feeding "the black dragon" that eats the woodpile!
take care all
jr

My older brother used to steal lots from that secret farm in Mississippi when he was stationed there in the Air Force Anyway the wacky weed is in for those of us who know how to procure it and need it to get by Today is a day of need, pain and depression are setting in the manic is gone

terry wrote:

My older brother used to steal lots from that secret farm in Mississippi when he was stationed there in the Air Force Anyway the wacky weed is in for those of us who know how to procure it and need it to get by Today is a day of need, pain and depression are setting in the manic is gone

"IN" in where? Not here, not for me... not even with a doc's permission in a green state! I've got a killer headache and nerve pain... plus I'm danged near 'cidal. I swear it is either that woman or me -- one of us ain't gonna survive. 'Course I aint got any life insurance 'cuz mine aint worth a rat's pattootie... ah, if only looks could kill... cuz then I'd be where I'm goin' one fine day I'll fly away
sigh
hangin on... I'm hangin on... biting my toungue...

Hang on friend. Call a crisis hotline if need be, talk to us

Weather seems to bring out issues in all of us, doesn't it? Our bodies crave sunshine and warmth, and when the wind howls and the cold seeps into our already aching bones, it's so hard to "tie a knot in it" and hang on. Those closest to us tend to get the brunt of it cuz they seem to expect us to just get over it..but we can't "just get over it". For gosh sakes..if we could..we would. Science has proven that changes in barometric pressure bring on aches and pains..but I'm curious to know what it does to our mental status. I think it goes far beyond the winter blues. I'm achy, grumpy..and ready to get out of this cycle. Maybe it's only cuz I feel spring in the air and my mind is ready to go play in the dirt and my body isn't cooperating..I don't know..but..that's how I feel. I miss gardening so much. It's what I used to do every spring. I haven't done it now in a few years. I miss sitting outside and watching the plants grow...ha ha. I'll do it again..watch me. God isn't finished with me yet!

took the car for tires and inspection.........keep your fingers crossed!!!!

Got everything crossed friend

hehehe thanks!!!! i feel weird with the car not here gggggg

grrrrrr

Good Luck Ed

wells it couldnt be any worse, it would need like 300 dollars of work to pass, ya know i freakin give up, then tyhe dragon lady sais i should just by a dependable car................i freakin give up..............so i told them ok are the tires on, he said yea, i said ill pick it up then, my buddy dave has to look at it, they said i can drive it, to a point.... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, meaning for only so long

Ed

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............i cant seem to win.......

talked to my buddy dave, he said it shouldnt be a biggy and can save me tons of cash, he may even have stuff i need, either way all ill have to pay for is a front end alignment afetr we repair what needs repairing, i kn ow if i hung in there a solution would present itself, sometimes i guess its a test, i was mad, for a hour or 2, then i figured a way past the obstacle.

Good job Ed, I know the feelings well, I am much the same my friend....

it can be soooo tiring though

Indeed, I'm doing it to myself as we speak

my brain needs re wiring

Just got back from Phoenix... I'm so exhausted I can hardly think. Mayson didn't even recognize me cuz I haven't been there for 5 weeks but Dorian loved the bejeebers out of me and even let me take a nap on his bed while he played one of his games by my side The Pdoc has increased my topamax by 100 and my seroquel by 50. He asked if I thought my cymbalta should be decreased to help my sleep, but I said no way cuz with this chronic health stuff I am balancing on a high wire with depression every day and don't want to risk depression. He's such a great doc. So...we shall see how the med changes work. I'm very hopeful. And now...I'm taking this achy body to never, never land.

Michelle, and lots of and

sooo good last nite

AlwaysHopeful wrote:

sooo good last nite

I jealous! I had a domestic last night; the stupid guy broke out both living room windows, kicked in the front door and then ran all of the way to the dumpster to hide he has a $2000.00 bail! The idiot! Now I have reports to do on top of repairs! The jerk! We had to screw a sheet of plywood over the living room windows until the glass guy can get here, the lady is staying with another resident. Poor thing, she is 63 with bruises all over her face! I had the paramedics take her to the ER to be checked out and I went and picked her up. This sh-- just pisses me off! He was her care giver for goodness sakes!

Oh Terry..I'm so sorry how horrible for that poor lady...was it the grandkid I met last year? He seemed kind of like a loose cannon. Anyway..I hope you can get some rest. Luv ya!

Terry, it is getting rough out there... here a man shot his five kids and then himself when he found out his wife was running off with another guy. I'm afraid that we will see more of this in these hard times.


Oh, the weather here got nice and Sunday afternoon went to a state park nearby. It has a huge, sandy beach and a rocky outcrop that has tide pools that you can walk out and see on low tide. We got married on the cliff overlooking the beach, so it is a very special place. The tide was out fairly good (nothing like spring tide, when you can really see some amazing sea life) so we walked out and saw sea urchins, sea anenomes, crabs, etc. etc. the colors are amazing! We usually go out around summer solstice and do a homeschool unit on sea life -- we have seen sea stars as big as my arm's reach! The kids learn SOOOO much, as we usually check out videos and books from the library before we go.

Today, I got out and worked on transplanting a lot of stuff from my nursery -- more grapes, kiwi's and clematis that are gonna look great growing on the fences. The kids went swimming in the pond (crazy!!). My friends the barn swallows are back! When my oldest was eight, they started coming around, and we noticed them looking for holes in old garage to nest in. So we built them a birdhouse and now every year we have to build more, as the colony grows. They are VERY social birds and will just go nuts when I go out. Last year, the first day back from migration, they just swirled all about me, calling out in great excitement! They like to follow me around, and will sit outside my window and call for me until I go out. They go nuts when I start up the tractor, as it really kicks up the bugs!! I love to lay back and watch their arobatics -- they play "tag" and can be soooo graceful. The very first native plants to bloom are opening and the smell of the earth waking up is really something! Indian plum smells strangely sweet/bitter and the red flowering currants are a real show... the samon berries and the magenta star blooms are the promise of wild berries later! Not to mention the blue sky, with the mountains so white with new snow... the great blue heron and the ducks on the pond in the foreground. Now that is a nice view!

be well, y'all
jr

Awww..John...you should be a writer...I could sit and read all day. You paint a beautiful picture that takes me away from the pain. Thank you so much.