Ways to Cope

Ways to Cope with FMS/MPS:

-Establish a partnership with your health-care team. Interview your doctor and see if it's a good match. Ask when he'll take phone calls and when he'll return them. Trust your intuition. Learn about your illness and don't be afraid to ask questions. Be comfortable with your team, you will be spending a lot of time with them.

-Do what you can for your body. Practice the basics of healthy living: eat a nutritious diet, get enough rest, and participate in a MILD exercise program, even if it's a slow five minute walk.

-Grieve for what you have lost. You have to accept the fact that you have a chronic illness. That means giving up who you used to be and accepting who you are now! This will take time, be patient with yourself.

-Let yourself feel your feelings. You have to go through the feelings of loss, grief, anger, sadness, when you learn you have a chronic illness. Give yourself the time to go through all the stages of loss.

-Don't Blame Yourself!!! It is not your fault you're sick. We are programmed in this country to believe we can overcome anything if we work hard enough. Don't let yourself feel guilty because you have this illness. And don't let others "well meaning" advice make you feel guilty.

-Find Support--it really helps to talk to other patients who suffer with the same illness. You don't have to explain a lot of things and you can't go through this feeling totally alone! (Isolation leads to suicidal tendencies, the number one killer of people who suffer with FMS). Joining a support group can be a "Lifesaver" that can help you get direction in your life. You learn a lot from other people and this will keep you from dumping on your family and friends all the time. With FMS it can be hard to distinguish between the feelings of tiredness and the helplessness and hopelessness of depression.

-Realize that you have limits! Remember that even healthy people can't do everything. Learn to be realistic about what you expect from yourself. Plan in extra time to accomplish things, and take breaks as your body needs them.

-Spend your energy wisely! Clients talk of using their precious stores of energy like coins from a piggy bank (similar to the spoon theory). YOU CAREFULLY RATION EVERY OUNCE OF ENERGY.

-Set reasonable goals for yourself. If you are having a bad day, don't go grocery shopping, have a sandwich instead. You may have to lower your expectations, but then you can be successful in meeting your goals.

-Be energy efficient. Sit on a stool in the kitchen, don't stand. When you take laundry to the basement, take a book or newspaper along so you don't have to run up and down the stairs several times. Get a handicapped parking sticker, hire someone to clean the house, divide your groceries so the canned items can sit in the car for a few days until you have the energy to bring them in. Or arrange for someone to haul the groceries in for you, have them placed on a table or counter so you don't have to be bending and lifting.

-Schedule rest periods. It is critical that you schedule rest before and after activities. You have to learn too, to listen to your body. Lie down BEFORE it's screaming.

-Set priorities. Make a list of what you must do, would like to do, and what doesn't matter. When all your living must be done in a few hours a day, and with only a small amount of energy, you begin to realize what is really important.

-Learn to adapt. Maybe you're too sick to go out to a movie, but you can ask a friend to bring over some Chinese food and to watch one on the VCR. People who really love you don't care if you cook for them or send out for fried chicken, they just like to spend time with a friend.

-Keep work and home schedules on the same calendar. You don't want to have a big meeting with your boss and a birthday party for your two year old on the same day.

-Have Fun! Keep your social outlets. It is crucial to make time for play. If you have three hours of energy - work two and spend one having coffee with a friend. Keep the balance in your life.

-Keep a journal. You don't have to write in it every day but it will help you see the patterns. You'll realize how awful you felt on the darkest days, but that you moved past that and felt good again. This also helps when your medical team needs to know symptoms, severity and how often they are occuring.

-Don't ignore your sexuality. You may have to schedule sex for when you feel good.

-Remember you still have choices. Exercise your choices, those feelings of being in control help fight any feelings of depression. Be the best advocate for yourself you can be.

-Keep your sense of humor. Choose movies and reading materials that are more upbeat. We deal with enough pain and difficulty on a day to day basis.

-Live for Today! FMS patients are living with the unknown, and living with the unknown is frightening because it reminds us that we are out of control, so we maximize the known, if you feel good, then enjoy the day. Live in the Now!