I think too much

I go to a mental health center in another town about an hour away.
It is a nice place and they have helped me alot with my disorders but it is a long drive over there when one thinks as much as I do and I think about sad things and by the time I get there I am sobbing.
If I see an animal get run over or one that has been run over, I cry, if I think about things when a song comes on the radio I cry. I am such a wimp.
I am not taking any anti-depressants right now.
I was on prozac from 2000 until 2006 when it was no longer working and making me worse.
Then I was put on all the other ones with bad side effects varying from each switch from this one to that one so I just quit. I am trying to deal with it with just my therapist and positive self talk. I hope it lasts because I think I have gone through every anti-depressant there is.
I take my xanax when needed though when I have my panic attacks which I have had since I was just a kid.
My whole family has depression, anxiety, panic, agoraphobia or ocd in one form or the other and I have lost two siblings from depression.
One of my sisters is BP as well.

I think we all get like that at times sweetie, thinking too much. It does seem like you are handling it well though. Positive self talk is so empowering if done right. I've seen people go way overboard with it and feel like they've let them selfs down.

BTW, I said a dead baby squirrel in the road today and busted out crying

I'm sorry you have all this going on Delta. But like Kira said, you seem to be coping well.

I am a HUGE animal lover and I'd do anything to help save them all if I could. I feed ferals in my garage because no one wants them and the shelters will kill them.

We all do that sometimes friend, it's all a part of the journey. Hang in there, you're doing fine :D

Thanks everyone :)
Brianna, that is so awesome of you to feed the feral cats. If only people would take the responsibility and have their pets spayed or neutered, there would not be so many suffering innocent animals.
I use to work at a nursing home in the kitchen and the back door led out to the woods by a cememtery and there were so many ferals there and we would take all the food to them we could. They would never let us touch them but they got pretty close at times.
The boss lady made them quit feeding the cats after I left but they do it anyway when she is not there :)
Here are some interesting statistics I would like to share:

Just one unaltered female cat and her offspring can produce an estimated 420,000 cats in only seven years. In six years, a female dog and her offspring can produce 67,000 puppies. So every time we spay or neuter just one animal, we prevent the births of thousands of animals

Wow you should do have some "family" there. I'm so glad people help the homeless and abused animals like you and Brianna. I have a cat name Spook. I couldn't have one but I got a letter from my doc saying I needed it for my mental health.

As soon as I figure out how, I'll post his pic

Delta this is something that's true to my heart. I hate that there are so many abandoned cats and ferals with no homes. I even have a deal with my vet where they give me a reduced fee if I trap them. If they're too feral, I just put them back in their colony.

Our vet tries to help all he can.
He is an angel on earth.
I have had to take so many rescues into him to try and save them but alot of them don't make it and he will take them and do what he has to do and he understands my heartache and tries to help me not be sad.

i cry at the drop of a hat as well, anything sad sets me off, this life is to painful, i try to hide with my classic cars, that takes my pain away, im just far to sensetive for this world, i feel soooooooooooooo much, i get vibes from peaople on the street, , some call me an empath, i am good at feelings and stuff, i can even feel the soul of my car, i like the intensity of it.................... but it comes with a price, itsd called overload of the sences, alot of us who suffer, i feel are just more sensetive than the rest, hugs for all who are sad!!!!

Very wise words Ed. I admire you :D

thanks mike!!!

Delta this is where I learned about trap-neuter-return. It's an excellent organization and they send me pamphlets to pass out. I wish I could save them all.

Alley Cat Allies

I like that idea of trap, neuter and return.
I know you wish you could save them all but just think of how many you have saved from suffering by doing what you do

I'm doing the best I can Delta but it sickens my heart to know and realize that they don't live more than 2 years.

But Brianna you're doing all you can