I'm so sorry for what you are going through Shelly. I had problems with my oldest son when he was a teenager (drinking and drugs). I didn't throw him out, I had to call the police to have him physically removed from the house and placed in a psychiatric facility for 3 months, then moved to a foster home for another 9 months. Sean got so strung out on who knows what that he went off the deep end and tried to kill his younger brother and physically hurt me. I had no choice, but it was still the absolute hardest decision I ever had to make. And the best one. I cried for months...second guessed myself constantly. It hurt like nothing else in my life. It was hell. But... Sean admits that at first he hated me and never wanted to see me again. Then, he realized that I wasn't giving up on him, that I was trying to help him. He actually thanked me for making the tough decision.
The decisions you have to make about your son are very difficult. However, you need to do what is best for everyone involved - including what is best for you. Right now, having your son living with you is not what is best for you, or what is best for him. Letting him continue his behavior in your home is just enabling him to continue doing what he is doing. You can make the right decision Shelly. It will be hard, and heart breaking, I won't kid you about that. You will feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest. But in time you will accept that you did what was best for yourself and for him.
I'll keep you in my prayers Shelly, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on (or lean on) let me know.
Jacki