Hi Michelle

I see you just joined. I hope you decide to stay and feel comfortable here. Just jump in anywhere

Michelle and welcome to Hugz

welcome!!!!!!!

Thanks for the welcomes, but....Heather....Lost One...don't you remember me from the other place???? I know I've been out since my back surgery the end of April...but am I so unforgetable? Just kidding...hey...I am soooo glad to be back here with y'all. I've missed your insanity. This pink elephant should be my avatar! Love ya!
Michelle

[i]I am 49 years old and going on 16. I have bipolar II disorder, which has been well managed for quite a few years, thank God. I still have my ups and downs, but have learned, thanks to my awesome Mom, to recognize both the triggers and the signs of the comings on of them, so I take steps to deal with them. I have been disabled since 1996 with a rare heart condition called Prinzmetal's Spastic Angina which are spasms in my coronary arteries. It's listed on the Nat'l Institute of Health as one of the rarest diseases and difficult to treat as well as diagnose. I've had some heart attacks, but none too major. I also have pulmonary hypertension, which...according the the "experts", people who are diagnosed only live up to 5 or 6 years past the time of diagnosis. I was diagnosed in '97 and told basically to prepare myself for death. I went home and had a pity party for a couple of days, then decided that, if I was going to die, I'd go out happy. I went out climbing a hill. As you can tell...I am still here and my lung pressures are almost normal now. My right ventricle is enlarging, but I am still very much alive and I refuse to believe that I was given 2 beautuful grandbaby boys and will not be allowed to watch them and my daughter grow up. I had both of my knees replaced in 2000 and then discovered I am allergic to the knickel in them, so they failed right away. So...I have now lost 100 pounds in the last couple of years, going from about 332 and now weigh 235. I have degenerative disc disease, lupus, diabetes, and an assorted number of other things like fibromyalgia, etc...but I WILL NOT QUIT!!! Yes, I get extremely depressed at times and, due to some ill behaviour by some doctors, I feel like giving up, but after letting myself have a little pity party, the mad comes out in me and I remember just how far I've come and just what I have to live for. My husband and I were adopting a baby and, after 18 months, the adoption fell through. Even tho it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, it was also the most awesome thing because I learned that I am stronger than I thought, that God will ALWAYS be there just when I need Him the most, and God sees the big picture. I began to have heart problems a year later and, because this child had cerebral palsy and had special needs, I wouldn't have been able to care for him like he needed due to my health. Even in my darkest times, when I'm at the bottom of my well, I always have my little "stick on lights" of hope that may only brighten my well a tiny bit...but they give me some light in my tunnel. They may be my friends, my family, my grandbabies....there's always something to hold onto until I can see the light at the end of my tunnel. I hope to be one of your stick up lights should you ever need one. My hand is always extended to you. My heart is always open to you. My prayers are always here for you. Thank you for welcoming me to your group.

I couldn't remember who you were either Michelle, I'm so sorry, been a little out of sorts lately

Welcome back, you have been missed

What an awesome story Michelle. You've been through tons but still offer your hand

I love your attitude! Can I borrow a cup of it?
John

Well there she is, I was wondering what happened to you. Pariah is right you do have a good attitude

Well hello my good friend! you found your way home! I am so sorry we haven't been able to get together through all of this! You have been and will continue to be in my prayers until you have a full recovery

I will not quit - I love it

If ever you have the need, we have the pity party room